obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
