You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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