as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
