Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
