listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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