when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
operation have a gay friend backfired
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i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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