why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize
