We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
