I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
