Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love black thongs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
