i would punch a child for taco bell
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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