it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
