why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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