I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
