Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
