weddingsv make me drug and hornr
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
