I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
