Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I need moral support for this bender
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
