My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
