omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize