Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Will exercising make me less horny?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
