I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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