I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
