The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think your dad took our porno
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
