he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
