Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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