I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I touched a dick in church today
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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