I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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