An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
