Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
