It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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