He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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