Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just want to make out with him forever
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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