I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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