I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Randomize
