Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
