pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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