i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
