New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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