Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
