Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
