he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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