You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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