i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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