i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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