we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
