We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
