Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
