Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins