she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.