Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
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And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
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Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him