your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.