I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
