I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
