I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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