when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dick very happy bro
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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