I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.