it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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