the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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