My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize