where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
