5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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