Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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