This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I looked at my own cervix.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
