He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
