This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
