ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
