They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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