I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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