Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Dear god my vagina.
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