Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
