When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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