I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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